Cyberfrog Communication Problems

This blog is for all of you that want to hear about things that they don't print in the news papers. That is sad but true, I never wrote anything to anybody but here I am hope you will get some fun and even some bright moments out of this total amateur blogtog.

Monday, December 4, 2006

The Pastor and the Cat

A minister of a well known church in Sweden was late one morning for the first service in his church. He was a holy man and full of joy. But this morning he had to break the law since he was late, so he drove well over the speed limit on the narrow gravel road from his house to the church. Half way there he so a cat crossing the road and he panic braked but he could still hear the awful sound of the cat hitting the car. He was able to stop his car and started to walk back towards were he have hit the poor cat.

He was looking everywhere and after 10 minutes he saw the poor cat sitting in a ditch next to the road. He taught poor cat he must be suffering, so he went back to his car and got the tire iron from the trunk. He prayed out loud to God the whole way back asking God to not let the cat suffer. He reaches the place where the cat is sitting looking at him with painful and sweet eyes. He lifts his hand with the tire iron and closes his eyes and swings against the cat, the cat dies instantly without suffering.

He walks slowly back to his car and his spirit is low and his heart is hurting for the whole incident. He drives slowly back to the church; he goes up in the pulpit and delivers his message about healing and forgiveness.

After the service his assistant pastor approach him, Pastor did you hit a cat on the way to the church this morning? He looks surprised and asks, how did you know that? Did you have a vision or did God tell you?

No says the assistant pastor, I was out on the parking and saw that there was a cat stocked in the front radiator of your car.

There must be a very unhappy cat in heaven….

Sunday, December 3, 2006

My New Car

I had just bought a brand new Nissan Patrol and was a very happy Viking since it had air con that really helped me survive all the long hours in the traffic in Manila. The traffic here is actually more like parking since the cars stand still more than they move but that’s another story.

One day when I was driving (parking) my stereo just went stone dead.

Now I had to sit for hours listening to other car engines instead of sweet music.

I get hotheaded and angry at everything because of this, so I decided to bring the car to the place where I bought it so they could fix it for me.

To my surprise they just told me that it was not covered by the warranty. This really blows my top. I did not even want to stay and argue with them I just left.

On the way back to the office I stopped and bought a new car stereo. When I came back to the office I called my maintenance guy and told him to install it for me, he answered “no problem Sir” why is it when I hear those words I start to get nervous? Anyway I went up to my office and did my work and when it was 5PM I went down to my car and to my surprise the stereo was working perfect.

I was driving for a month and it was heaven to have my own music in the car. When things are too good to be true it is often the beginning of a disaster.

The disaster started when I drown in to a gasoline station to fill up the tank. When the serviceman filled up the tank I decided to check the water myself. I open the hood of the car and to my horror I saw a big nail in my battery, what the heck is this? The big rusty nail had an electric cable going from it towards the windshield; I followed it and saw that it was going to the car stereo. Now I was really mad since this was the most unprofessional job I ever seen.

I drove back to the office and called my maintenance guy. I tried to be cool and said Edgar what is this nail doing in my battery? He look at me and said let me explain Sir. He then pointed to the battery and said “Sir the car stereo is 6 volt and the battery is 12 volt, I said YES, then he counted the pools on the battery, 2-4-6 and on the 6th I nailed it so you would have no problems.

I was quite for awhile since I needed oxygen to cool myself down. Then I said to Edgar the stereo is working fine, but the battery is damage and leaking acid. Edgar looked at me and said “no problem Sir I have a spare battery in the garage for you”

I am still recovering and learning the lessons of life

The Ladder,Aircon and Ref.....

Here is some communication stories from my friend Buddy keep up sending me your stories.

One of my favorite stories in Haiti was when I had a worker building a block wall. When he got to the 9th or 10th block in height, I told him to dig holes in the ground to secure the ladder so he would not fall when building the wall. Six hours later I came back and to my utter amazement, there was a ten foot hole in the ground.........with a ladder in it. I immediately proceeded to the bar!

Or my other all time favorite....The front desk woke me up at 3 AM to tell me that someone broke into their room and stole their air conditioner! Incredulous, I gathered my wits and went to meet the irate guest who was angry beyond belief as his terrified wife thought they might be killed in their hotel room.

Suspecting neither foul play or malice, I inquired with the night engineeer if anyone had gone into room 212 and remomved an airconditioner. "Oui Boss" was the reply!

And why the hell did you enter a guests room in the middle of the night and do that I screamed?

The reply....because the guest in room 155 complained HIS airconditioner wasn't working!

My other favorite was when I instructed the maintenance staff to remove a huge steel regrigerator from the Kitchen for repair - I told them 5 times not to take it out the dining room but through the back kitchen entrance. Sure enough - 4 hours later..there was the 400 pound refrigerator............on the bottom of the pool!